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Everyone who's ever said something really fucking stupid while they were fucking and then burst out laughing afterwards knows this. And yes, as directed by Steve McQueen and performed by Michael Fassbender, the movie is conspicuously low on laughter. For with its lurid Latin setting Wheeler is in Buenos Aires to buy a hotel, as you do , rampantly fornicating locals and the suggestion that, if you opened the window of your limousine you were likely to get hit by flying spunk, it had the edge on the competition. The fingers down the six-pack, the profile copulation with open windows and billowing curtains. Instead, it's Bond Daniel Craig , barely conscious and dragged into the rusty bowels of a moored torture tanker. Because it had to start somewhere. And yet the eerie prescience of Wild Orchid is not what makes it great, or why it is one of the definitive moments in the history of movie sex.

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